on 31 dec..

yesterday was a great day ever but sadly i need to reach home at 10pm..so i cant go home late.

my mum yesterday did not let me go home late..like wat the fuck!!!

she treat me like a kid. come on im going to b 15 sia..n still dont trust me..kanina..

btw,4get abt tat..we went to bowling at bukit batok at 1st..

btw,say onli wun to meet at 1 pm but last3 all reach after tat..

when we all have come except nisa,lea,nazirah,subree,lea,all the sec 1,ervika n her sister,

we take 178 to bukit batok

so the want tat went was me,fathin,last3 n aziella..

smua npcc again..aiyo..paisey uh

during the bas trip,i take some pict..

all pict is below..

haha..last3 face is funny...ok the bas trip can say a bit bored.

but at last,we have reach to tat place..

the place was crowded so we have to wait..while waiting,we when to eat 4 a while.
we play from 3pm until 4pm..if im not wrong...we got to finish until 4pm.
coz they will close during tat tyme.





eventhough many ppl did not turn up,we still have a gd tyme..
trust me.when last3 is around,we wont stop laughing..
actually all make jk tat y is not bored..
but i felt sorie if aziella feel left out coz last3 talking to fathin while i dont know wat 2 say 2 her
but after the bowling,den i can talk to her..
malu lah sey talking to ppl tat u nvr talk to..hahah..step malu uh..


tis all the pict tat i take at the bowling..

many things happen at the bownling but im too lazy to type..hahah..

so,many always miz to hit at least one but aziella is the winner..

second last3.third fathin..

but fathin third last3 play for her..alah..i last...haish...

for 1st tyme play,not bad for fathin..

at last bowling is finish..we were the last one to finish..hahah..

after tat,we went to city hall meet dira..

but fathin need to go home..

so left me,last3 n aziella.

we waited dira at city hall den walk to marina..

it was fun..

we went to the marina sq..we buy bubble tea den went to time zone..

i lost my $1 on tat idiot racing game tat do not wk..

aiyo..juz my luck..

as we were having fun..

it nite tyme already..

so at nite..,we were lost 4 a while will..

we were searhing for the bas stop to go to lucky plaza..

we juz went straight until someone ask "ticket pls".
ok..tat was piasey..

den we went back while lauhing like hell..

so we went to the another side..

we manage to take a photo..

lawakn?lol..haha..

after a long walk,we find the bus stop already..

so,we ate ate mac..

we ate at mac from 9pm until almost 10pm

last3 was very hungry siaa..

u see tat face??

face of hunger..hahah.. but seriously she iis humgry..
see the pict below..

hahah..

i ask her permision first ok b4 i upload this pict..

owell wat to do..

look onli small but she can eat a lot..

is gd if she eat a lot.she is really skinny sey..

after tat,they all went to marina..

while me??i went back home..

im sorie but i have to go not tat i want to..

when im otw home,my mum scold me.got to hell!

she is the one tat is unfair sey..

owell tat was yesterday..

today is aiman bday,my little bro!!

hopefully today is a great day n yr..

happy new yr!!! sch going to reopen!!

juz got back home...today i acompany eryani tu simei ite to register..

many ppl was there n the sch was big sey..

take a long tyme to register..from 2pm until almost 4 pm finish..

we reach cwp ard 5.30..den we went to the mac donald ..

we say eryani frewns...we also saw aishah tat wkin the mac donald was there..

she is not wking today but juz hang out there..so,they all eating..

when eryani was eating,my lovely ex frewn tat wun to beat me up call eryani..

that persoon say tat she mizz eryani a lot..

tat weird fora someone to call like tat all of sudden when tat person is not even close wif her..

owell..idk...so,eryani quickly eat n meet tat person..

so left me,aishah n her frewn..it as great talking wif aishah..

i laught a lot until i cant take it..haha..

ard 7+,i saw faiz 3n1 n his frewns..

we have a chat for a while..while chatting i saw one of my sec 2 trainer,farah..

she wearint the blue shirt tat they use when we went to the camp..

cant believe tat i meet a lot of ppl...

finally,tmrrw is the day!!! welcum 2010!! gd bye sweet 14,welcum sweet 15!!

cant wait but i lost my homewk..hahah..heck care..

cant wait to c last3 again..hmm.. i wonder wat she will wearing tmrrw..

hahah..lol..

so yeah..tmrrw party tyme..

nothng happen much today except i meet ppl a lot...

tat all for today..

HAPPY NEW YR!!

juz got back home..today gerek sey

juz got back home yesterday at 9 am..im try after laughting the whole day..hahaha..

guess wat..i meet last3 all at sch..miss them a lot lei..hahah..

b4 i reach sch,i saw ainon!!! my old frewn..miz her sey..hahah..

she grow tall sia.. all my short frewn grow tall even ervika except nisa. :x

hahah...if u reading rite now nisa,sorie..juz jk around lah sis..

guess who i meet at sch other den the npcc cadet??i saw ms melissa! miz her a lot as well..

rindu kacau dier uh..hahah...to bad i did not see my lovely form teacher,ms joyce seow..

miz her very the a lot.. she is a great form teacher..

but too bad next yr form teacher will change..

but sadly i always make cases n make her worie..i wish i can change tat..

n let her know how sorie i am..but nothing will change..haish..

so,i meet last3 all like normal..go bubble tea n hang out they..

den we go to ervika blk..hang out they for a while..

b4 tat,i last3,nisa n ervika leave me.. :(

they all bring their bike along..last3 bad sey..she can let me ride wif her behind but she leave me.

aiyo..ade2 je nk kacau aku..hahah..

so,we reach to her blk at last..tired sia.

last3 n ervika have a private chat for a while..

as for me,i sit wif eryani when she came wif her frewn..

after they have a chat,which is 7 pm already,we went to her house..

last3 n ervikA gy sembayang..

guess wat??

eryani,ervika sis know how to cook..hahah..

leh tahan sdp..she cook fried noodle..

last3 mkn sampai nangis coz she can not tahan pedas..padahal pedas cikit..

hahah!! tk baek sia aku..

den let ervika play laptop since i bring it along coz eryani want to borrow..

she want to do her ite stuff..so we went to the mac at civic..

den we went to erny house,eryani sister..

i went there to take the design of the kendarat t shirt..

it is cool n neat..

den,i meet last3 all while eryani went to met her frewn n meet me again.

we went out from eryani home ard 8+..

den she sent me somewhere near her house.

kirakn we went riding jap.

guess wat??

last3 tk taw ride bike..hahah..jk.

ade minor probs je coz i was heavy to ride..hahha..

i grow fat sia..hahah..

wat to do..betta eat a lot b4 sch start..

btw,remember abt the pervious blog tat i wrote tat i cant slip after wat happen..

i found out tat yesterday tat the person smoke..

i was abt sream but i cool myself down..

so i have a slow chat wif the person..

da start my granmother story..hahah..

after i gave advise,i felt really regret!!

WISH I CAN CHANGE MY PAST!!but i cant..

when i was at the interchange,i saw a guy tat have his ears pierce..

i recap abt my pierce at the lip b4..

i really regret doing tat..tambahkn dosa je aku uat..

i did it coz i though i was cool bt is not..

btw,i regret watever i do in my past..

i juz wanna tell ppl tat i have change!!!

owell tat all for today..

we lost but it was fun :)

today is the day..we got basketball match..

n on tat day is hui qing,on the left n yan ni birthday,on the rite..

we celebrate they birthday after match..

tat is the pict below..

b4 tat,we sing them a happy birthday songs infront of the long john silver arnd 8+am..

sweet kn?

but i was been bully by yan ni..

she push me..juz jk arnd wif me..

it was fun but it is quit painful as well..

wat to do,u is rough..hahah..btw,
all of the pict was token by me..

bt all the match in the pict is b division not c division..

they lost by the yishun by 5 score..if im not mistaken...

we got 22,they get 27..

while us,we lost by 15 score..

we get 12,they get 27..

today match,it really turn out bad..

especially me..idk y im not focus on the match like i use to b..

i tink i 4got the things i shud do or juz strez abt nxt yr..

is getting difficult...i nid to balance my tyme on basketball n soccer..

nid to pull up my marks..i got to help my dear best frewns..
many things will happen next yr..haish..

after the game,i was really tired..

until i felt asleep in the bas..hahah..

i did not go home straight..

i went to meet my use to b best frewn tat i do not hate..

so wun to u my laptop,so i juz let her borrow..

arnd 4+pm,i went home..

b4 tat,i sent her to the bas stop near by..

i reach home arnd 5+pm..

it was really tiring but fun..

bt sadly it have to end wif a gd bye..

yan ni is sec 4 NT n she wont b arnd next yr..
but im grateful tat i know her..she is a fun,lovable,understanding n sporting captain..

im going to miss all the sweet memories of basketball when u use to b arnd..

i will always wish the best for her future n hope her dream come true..

tat all for today..

im so sleepy

i cant believe im still awake at 6am..

i was abt to slip when they sign off..

lucky fazzlee was there! :) bro thx for staying the nite chatting wif me..

u r a great frewn.. bt i felt asleep after he sign off,lucky my mum wake me up..

nk tk nk sey untuk bangun..after i get myself ready.i went into the car tat my step dadd rent.

im so sleepy until i fall asleep sey in the car..terok siaa muke..

hahah..today we go jb at 8am until 8+pm we reach home..

it was fun..i buy beg,stationaries n more other stuffs..heheh..

my dadd buy some dvd..i remember he buy senario..my favourite!!hahah..

when i come back home,is comp tyme..like normal..hehe..

kesiyan maam kene kacau agi pe??

heheh... owell,is my habit to kacau org..hahah..

jgn mrh..lol.. look like i cant slip again coz im really excited for the basketball match tmrrw!!

fuchun vs yishun man..hopefully win.. hahah..

tat's all for today.. :)

gerek pe.. :)

today im stuck wif my comp 24 hrs..

look like i got to b awake until 6am coz dont want my mum to leave me

me going jb later..

so im chatting rite now..

juz who im chatting wif??

no other than shab the crazy want..ops..maen2 je..

haish..maam tk de kerje ke ampai leh ask me to join chatting wif her frewn..

actually she do not ask..all of sudden i knew there is more than one person..

owell..it was fun..hahah..hey,shab do tat again nxt tyme but no intro pls...

i hate to intro myself..

im juz simple..i juz b anyone frewn without intro..heheh..

btw,it is nice chatting wif u guys..

bt pls alert me nxt tyme..

i was shock sey..all of sudden give me a nudge..haish..hahah..

balasan aku tuk ckp nk kenal kwn dier..padahal is a jk..

owell..got prob wif my network again!!! fck!! im damn bored!!

juz let me chat!!fcking internet shit man..

owell,tat all for now..want to fix the prob..bye.

on 25 dec at nite until today at 3am journey

tat picture below is my grandmother n my little bro..

it was ard 7+ pm yesterday,my step dad decided to go out..

we when to serangoon at 1st..i buy myself a pair if skinny jeans..

there were many ppl!! i dont mind abt tat bt many indians!!

im not races..bt u know how there attitude..

kimak..drg tgk3,tk pr tap leh senyage jln dekat2..

perangai mcm chibai..

since im the only lady there..

i walk in the middle of my mum n ralatives..

btw,after buying myself a skinny jeans..

i buy sun glasses for myself..

bt since my adk also wun,my dad buy for hym as well..

cute kn dier pakai?

confirm byk peminat blr dier besar..hahah..

after that we when for a dinner..

while we we on the way for a dinner..

i decided to take a photo..

n i toke a photo of iz n my adk..

another cute pict..

hahah..



after the dinner,im soo tired..
it was like 10.30pm when we finish eating..
so,it like 2 days not smoking..
n im still ok..
except is irritatiing when u saw ur step dad smoking..
mcm nk je..heheh..
den,we when to marina birrage..


tis pict on top is at the marina birrage..
i did not take a lot of pict coz im soo tired..
the pict below,is the roof of the marina birrage..
lawa kn?the pict yg lawa bkn org dier..
hahaha..
mati aku klau bpk aku taw..heheh..

btw,it was like 1+ in the morning when we want to go home..
cant believe tyme fly fast..

i though after tat we can go home..
bt no!! we go n see the merlion..
alamak..mata da tk leh angkat sia..
bt it was fun until my mum n step dad had a fight abt my bro..
owell,is normal for me to see them fight..
so,we sent my relative back home..
i felt a slip sey..
it was like 3+ in the morning..omg!!
i juz straight away when to bed when i got home..
tat was the story for yesterday nite until today morning..

im confuse..

lea,a frewn tat have juz meet but it feel like i know u for yrs..

im still wondering if u really wun to change sch like wat she said to me tat tyme..

if u r,im wondering y u going to buy our sch uniform n books..

if u really mean wat u say,i wish u all the best for ur future..

we will b there if u need us..

btw,thx for listening to me when i need someone..

thx for ur understanding towards me..

thx for taking gd care of last3 when im not at her side..i know u is also ur bestfrewn..

but i juz wanna say thx..u really a great frewn..

hope u will b fine when u change sch n i hope u will fine a great guy to b ur boi..

im sorie to hear wat happen eventhough i know u really happy to b single..

i hope u will always b the same lea that i ever know..

look like im going to take care of last3 by my own self huh..

u will always remember by me inside my heart eventhough im not close to u as last3..

i hope ur dream will come true n u will sucess in ur life..

btw, nothing happen much..juz updating my blogg..

owell,another boring day at home.. :o

im damm bored..cant wait to go out wif family later..

gtg now..better go n change myself b4 im late.. :)

soccer match gerek!

it is 3.39 in the morning..

like usual i can slip bt i have slip yesterday after soccer match on 24 december

yesterday is a great dae for me despite my enermy was there n we lost the match..

it was not tat bad..we get 0,green view get 5..

they actually better than queenway but queenway get 11 score when they vs wif fuchun..

the green view actually shud get 3 coz another 2 score they get is bcoz we kick our own ball..

the gerls did tat accidently..owell better luck next tyme..

no tyme did not play soccer,i feel strange juz now when i play the 1st half..

but lucky i remmember wat to do..

i dont know y ms aishah ask me to play center mid field all of sudden.

i shud b playing last man like usual..

it was difficult to play as a mid field..

but we play 30min does not feel like it instead it was like 10min..

by the way,during the matvh,it was raining..

so we have to continue playing..it was tough to play during the rain..

as the grass were wet n sticky.

after the match we play under the rain..

it was raining heavily..

we were all darm wet n we do not bring any clothes..

juz our luck..

i guess i will b still playing next yr since i don not quit..

try to imagine if a tcher begged u not to quit..

sh did tat n i really pity her..

btw,actually i dont wun to but i have to..

where can i balance two sport cca..

somemore the date n tyme of training is the same tyme as the basketball..

pandai2 lah aku handlenext yr or shud i say next wk..

i will b so died..i lost my homewk n my gp was not ard juz nw..

anyways,my backbone hurts..no tyme nvr play sia..

after the match,i lpk pat sklh.. tired sey..

den i accompany my frewn to buy uniform..

den me n my frewn see eryani for a while..

it was so early n im damm bored..

i accompany my frewns to buy beg n stationaries..

since it is still early,eryani n i went to tree house there while waiting ervika to go home..

too bad my backbone still hurts..

after we hang out there for a couple of hrs..

ervika went home..look like is tyme for eryani to go home..

so i went home n fall asleep..

nothing happen much ..

but juz update my blogg for fun..

owell,i got to go now..hopefully tmrrw will b a fun day.. :)

im tired..

wondering y i put tat pict above?

to show how ugly the uniform is..

tat will b the uniform for nxt yr..

i wear tat uniform for hym is bcoz he wun it so much..

cute kn?? cute mcm kakak dier kn?? heheh..

i know u guys muz b thinking yg yanti perasan..

tk slh pe nk perasan..jgn selaluu nk perasan sudah..

btw,
today im soo tired sey..i wake up early at 11+,yesterdae,22 dec

so now is 1.46 am the the morning..

like usual,cant slip coz of my step dad snouring!!!!!!!!!!

ah.....! satu uma bunyi siaa..

another reason tat i update my blogg is bcoz network prob..

i use people internet since im wireless..

ops..did i say tat?haha..im going to b died if people know..

owell..it is free,i juz use lor..

tat y i keep sign of n log in my msn..

coz of the idiot network..boring siaa..

so,maam im sorie for sign in n log off

by the way,jangan lah nk bagi saya kenal dgn sape2..

ade2 je nk kacau saya..hahah..

remember im not easily in luv..:p

so if u see im wif any guy,jgn slh faham...

by the way,i wake up early juz to meet last3 since she got camp leader stuff...

too bad i was late..juz is not fate for us to me..

so i juz when to sch to buy my sch shirt..

is ugly man!! theyhave change it...not need to tuck in..

den i when to bubble tea shop,that's where i know tat they were not there..

da gitu,tk pe bt i nid to got to sch again coz nid to talk abt the kandarat stuff wif my frewn..

ah....how tired can it b? i search last3 almost the whole place tat they like to hang out..

tk de sey...den,i find out..there at last3 house..alamak..uat penat je..

i find out from the bubble tea aunty..

perangai tanye aunty sia..hahah...

owell..wat to do..not my luck..

so,i meet ervika sister,eryani...

i went to her house...

den ervika a few hours come back home..

we watch 2012...gerek sey..den i go home ard 6+..

when i went home,i try out the uniform..

i having trouble for trying it coz my bro disturb me so i let hym wear the uniform..

above is his pict.. :).

so tat all happen..now im juz stuck here infront of my laptop while wating to go to sch at 6+am

i got soccer match..cant wait siaa..

i know u guys muz b thinking im crazy for not sleeping yet..

but i cant slip all bcoz eryani give me kopi...:(

n my mum da start bising pasal lom tido..

haish..mcm lah aku bdk kecik..

guess,tat all for yesterdae news..

hopefully today fuchun will win!!!!!!!!!

i cant believe tis!!

is in 1.20 in the morning..

i juz cant slip after wat happen...

many things juz came towards me..

i admit i was disapointed,confuse,quiet angry n wat the hell did the hell did i go wrong??

the most important things tat came to my mind is im i a bad companies??

i mean like im the onli frewn tat smoke n her sister..

i cant believe she did not tell me..

i guess is a balasan for me for not telling her last tyme n now im feelin like wat she felt b4

i guess wat's come ard,go ard..juz thimking tat my cobaan is over..

guess is not n is even harder..

guess im born to have a lot of cobaan n to help ppl tat need help..

im really grateful 2 have tis kind of test frm god coz is gd 2 experince when u'r in a young age

i will make sure i prevent her from all tis nonsences..

if she can make me for who i were to who i am..i will do the same thing..

she my frewn n i cant juz watch..

omg! im stress,worried n confuse eventhough i heard she wanna quit coz i know her well.

she say wanna quit sniffing bt she did it..when i scold her in a nice way,den she quit..

y im the onli person tat know all of her background??

if onli there were another 1 more..it will b easer for me to bring her back...

now how i know how the feeling like when i do something stupid bt im easily change..

btw,it is juz weird to know tat someone i meet a few daes b4,believe tat i can stop smoking..

anyways,if u reading rite now,thx..

i do need some support rather than my mum who keep scolding me...

it is really irritating sometime..

im juz afaird abt my dear gd frewn..

i wont b there 24 hr like tis yr..

how can i monitor her next yr?she will b bz wif sch activities..

since how many daes we do not contact,something happen..

im not thinking negative bt i juz felt guilty..

coz ppl always do coz they r curious..

n is true..she tell me she take one tyme b4 not 1 stick..

hey..wait..i think she mean one tyme not one stick..coz she dont know wat the difference..

if she take one stick mean tat is a new story of wat she done.

if one tyme,tat long story..

ok..im panic!!i think i beta cool down n think when i can see her b4 im the wun who will b strez..

i beta cool down fast or i will think abt smoking..wait..my step dad got cigg wat..

i take 2 lah..

my life is really crazy juz like the owner huh??hahah..

tat all for todae..tmrrw pandai2 lah aku contact dier n slow talk dgn dier..

asl lah dier belom top up pp8??haish..

tat all for todae..

pease out:yanti smokie:)

im bored

see tat kid..??tats my bro..

my house is even worst than pasar mlm sia coz he play catching wif me..

look innocent but he really stuborn..

cant complain abt tat coz her sister also stuborn!heh.btw, he going to 2 yrs old next month,1 jan..

isnt tat great for having bdae on new yr..

look like i stay at home huh??hahah..i did..

mean i did not smoke today!!hahah..

is true..did u hear tat maam?i did not smoke..

hope u dont mind calling u maam coz i dont know wat to call u since im not in npcc nor u'r a tcher

see im gd gerl listen to wat u say..u ask me not to smoke so i dont..hahah..

no lah..actually im a social smoker already not a heavy smoker anymore..

meanin i can endure it already,usually at home i can endure for not smoking when outside it depends coz wherever i go,

i'll see ppl smoke

so is like hard to control..

so yeah..is difficult..

btw,thx for sharing the story to me yesterdae :)

it sound interesting...

im bored over here..shud go for soccer match todae..

fushun sec vs ??i dont know which sch..alah..got to hell..im gd enough wanting to come down..

actually i quit already coz got enermy there n my ex best frewn tat wanna beat me up

i know is a lame excuse.. but b4 i did anything to them,i quit..

meaning my enermy treat me like a piece of shit..

where cant i accpt tat..some more im not gd at controlling my anger..

tis is to prevent fom any case..

so yeah..

playing comp all dae n layan ny adk..

sometime 3 time a wk he,my mum n step DADwill come here at my grandmum house since they r staying at sengkang wif my step dad family..

kinda bored when he is not ard..

see last3 pict all?

i found at nisa facebook..

i really nice..

i really mizthem during tis holidae..

padahal tat tyme i see them already during there npcc which is juz yesterdae..

hahah...

so todae nothing much happen..

juz update my bloogg so it will stay a live..

i wanna watch 2012 the movie at my laptop..

my mum brought it at jb yesterdae..

tk lama agi i bcome minah jb .hahah..coz i will life there..tat all for todae..see the pict abt?i luv it!! tat the pict of my frewns...

cant believe tat nisa did tis pict..isnt cool?

look like im not going to b same claz wif last3 n nisa..

going to miz them a lot..

hopeu guys will me too..hahah...

hope u guys do well next yr.. :) pease!

i luv them!

photo of my beloved frewns..

last3 like really only play guitar..

dont give up practice..

some dae u know how to play guitar like me..

heheh...

eh my beloved npcc frewns!! :)

look like fun sey..

too bad i cant come down on tat day..

if can,paisy lah wei..im the odd one later...

coz im a basketball player...
hahahahah!!

im wonder where faiz??

owell,at least i can keept tis eventhough i was not there. :)

why many thing is happening n wat does all of tis mean?

today many thing happen..

during basketball,yanni com!! yeah!!

i was really happy when she come,feel like the old tymes..

she come ard 9+am..at 1st i hve nt mood bt i juz dony know y i can smile again.

we play a match..i was wif yanni team tat have 4 ppl onli vs audrey team tat have 5 ppl..

luck we got the same score 2/2...if was fun bt yet tired..too bad tat was the last training...

i did nt regret for coming bt too bad it started raining...look like we have chat at canteen......

i was great talkin to yanni again wif her bt too bad tat she wony b ard next yr...

im really sad siaa....after trainig,i meet eryani outside the office.

i show her wat one of my ex beloved frewn say 2 me.

eryani did get mad especilly wif that person who wun to beet me up..den i waited last3 n gang..

i shud plan on it tody bt wat happen??there watch movie aftre npcc..PATHETIC!

I waited so long until it is tyme to meet her,my beloved frewn tat i cant hate or 4get..

i meet her at our favourite place..den we lpk pat playground near to it..

i was abt to cry when i remember the memories...

as for my another frewn,she is always fight back wat i say...pathtic sia!!!

ppl talk nicaly den eply in a rude way...do she know to repect ppl???

juz 4get it yanti..ppl like her who is emo is nt derserve to b my fwen..

the frewn tat i really care abt,did nt give her num... at 1st wanna give bt i though she was jk..

im soo stupid if not,i will have a number..at least i get to see her n hold her tighly...

i cant belive we can see my favourite tcher who is teaching mt in fcss...

no only tat,,i also see her!!!!!! my most number 1 teacher..she nt longer in fcs.she juz a relief.

she use to teach me eng n hist! cant belive i show her!!at admiralty sia i saw her..

at last she eply hi to me..usually juz pretend tat she dont see..

i was wif my beloved frewn tat i care...i was sending her to bas stop..den i see my fav tcher!!

smile come back to my life bt im hurt again.. coz mayb she will/wont contact me...

im juz confused,angry n dissapointed. owell,tat life..hopefully tis pain will b gone soon..:)

RECAP

hey,is 4 in the morning..i cant slept coz my step dadd is snouring..haish...

how worst can it b?? another 1 n 1/2hr to get ready to sch coz i got basketball training...

im going to bz tis wk..tmrrw got soccer match.. i actually have quit bt have nt give the shirt n i decided to play tis tw0 last match b4 i go.. the tcher in charge seem angry..

i actually dont wun to quit bt got enermy inside,her attitude bcome even fck towards me n my ex bestfrewn is there,the peson who want to beat me up..

another reason is i wun to focus on basketball..hopefully my tcher wont know abt tis 3 reason..i dont wun her to b upset..since im bored,i wanna recap abt my life..look like im doing great except tis few yrs..except for tis few daes,i dont know wat to do..hmm.. y did i say im doing great?? well,for those who know me,u know y i say like tat..

i dont mind sharing anyway..hmm..i use to b difference from nw when im in prim sch until sec 1..far difference..i really cant control my anger during tat tyme..

n im raise w/o both parent..meaning my mum,uncle,grandmum n my late grandpap took care of me..i was really naugty..i beat someone when im in prim 3/4,cant remember or i think is both..

i skip lesson when im pri 5 n i can still lie when im caught..when im prim 6..hahah..

wild life sia..my grandpap past away n i cant accept the fact coz he have been a dad to me n my mum was abt to marry.. i juz gone wild..

i begin to go home late,start smoking,sniff glue n frewn wif bad companies..

im rude to my step dadd.. always fight until my bro was born..

how the hell i can change all of sudden? hmm..thx to my bestfrewn,lastrie..

she help me bt when i did a case during sec 1,i slash someone,she seem like dont wanna talk to me..cant blame her for tat..bt it was stupid of me..hey,bt tat guy deserve it..

he was playing abt my god! how im not peace off?n somemore im still angry abt my another ex best frewn..u know who..none of the tcher know the reason..i think..

bt got my beloved frewn who backstep ppl..u guys know who..many ppl dislike her..

she help me as well.. bt nw she bustard me!! TAT CHIBAI!lastrie n her help me..

bt lastrie help me a lot..she the want who dont give up to help me..

tat call true frewns..another reason i change was i heard from ms joana tat my mum cry in her office..tell me how i wont change??tat tears mean a lot.

tat tears tat my mum always cry coz my real dadd always run away from home coz of one reason..at 1st i dont believe coz my mum like dont bother abt me bt ms joana seem serious..

then i trust her.. from there i promise myself to avoid doing anything stupid bt still dont something bad,i was caught smokin tis yr ard feb..

n u guys muz b wondering how i can b close wif my step dadd rite now..

tat coz of the inccident as well, my step dadd change n also bcoz of my mum.

my mum want hym to treat me like im her own daughter n he did..

u guys dont know how is like to b in my childhood..u think ur wun is worst?

think again..im born wif cobaan,my dadd was not there when i enter tis earth.

i was almost kill by my own dadd...so my dear frewns,pls choose ur future husband wisely..

i was lucky god help me by letting me know lastrie..alhamdulilah..

if nt i dont know wat will happen to me lei..bt it was hard for me as im young when im experince tis..hopefully abt my 2 beloved frewns tat leave me is juz a test not fate..

nobody can help me bt god.. bt im confident i will go through it even though is really painful.. come on..im not easily fall.. bt i will always remember them n the pain is still there..

always tears come down when i remember..bt look where i stand..i get promoted to sec 3..

i gt some grade 4 somemore for some of mine subject..i knew i can life w/o my dadd..

i did prove everyone wrong..

i prove i have change until i was pick to go LTC bt one of the tcher recap abt my case..

ah..fck off man! tcher like tat confirm is dm..who else hate me..do watever she wun..

im juz waiting for the dae when i graduate my O lvl..i will prove dm is wrong..

wat she though of me is all wrong..same goes to my dadd if i ever seeing hym again..

oh well..i still gt un finish bizz to do..tat all abt my lfe bt some i dont talk abt it..

tat is my real life n is complicatad..tat is me..so dont judge a book by its cover

PATHETIC!WHERE IS THE REAL HER?

hey,yanti is smiling!!

dont think i have recover fom the pain!

dont have any clue of how im feeling rite now..

im nt the type of ppl tat sad for 2/3 daes..

if like tat tat nt call a true frewn.

i tresure all of my frewnship especially them.

i juz dont know wat happen to her...she all of sudden say b4 she wun to beat me up at sch,i betta shut up n stop wif my fcking attitude..cant believe my own frewn wun to do tat to me.. more betta juz kill me rite?hahah...do watever she wun..if she beat me up,she really is nt my frewn n she really going to b in trouble if my step dadd knew..btw,im nt scared at all.i juz wun to know if she mean it..y shud i b afaird of ppl??i shud b afaird of god nt ppl..i juz respect ppl.. if she really acting chibai towards me..i give her my fcking attitude when sch reopen! i swear i will ! if tat is really her, i regret n will hate her 4ever..bt for my another beloved frewn,she wun to go to our favourite place for the last tyme n she asking if i wun to join..i will surely go..it juz hard to 4get her or hate her to juz 4get her bt the wun who want to beat me up,im easily hate her..i juz dont know y...after today,21 dec..i sure im going to change..i wont b the same yanti anymore.. when i lost them,i felt my life is empty.. i guess tis pain wont go away until my last breathe.

im lucky

juz now,2 people turn up..it was nisa n arip..

syaf,last3,mustakim,rabia shud turn up as well bt last min cant..

mustakim cant coz someone get married,last3 is working,rabia she was tired of something,i dont remember while syaf she got famm outing..i though my step dadd was abt to scold me bt i have to lie tat there have to went back home bcoz my dadd was taking a long time to me us at admiralty mrt....lucky he was late..while my beloved frewn,i read their frewnster..

one of them one to deleted the frewnster while another say tat she is sad to let go her frewn..

i know tat she were refering to me..i juz got it..juz let me go coz is tyme to b separated??

lame sia!! does nt make sense... juz bcoz of future juz separated?? gt another solution wat..

OMG! tis is PATHETIC! fine..

i cant stop them anyway.. i wish tat i was not exist anymore..

muz more betta than im being hurt one at a tyme!! 4get it.. i give up..

i juz hope god will protect them from bad companies n hopefully there will have a gd life..

for my dadd,hopefully tis plan work.. gt 2 wk to plan..im really stress out..

guess i got to start workin out the plan rite nw..

is fate or is juz a test

today is the day for th meeting bt yet there is still nt enough ppl..only 5 will turn up..

im stress out over here!!

wif the meeting n both of them i kept thinking..

i dont know wat will happen to me.. to many things tat have happen to me..

im juz lost to thing n to do anything..one of them can say like tat on the fb shout out..

as if i dont know she was refering to me..she make it so easy bt im the one who suffer..

juz she do not know me tat well n im juz nothing to them. im confuse abt tis matter..

is it fate or juz a test from god?? if tis fate,i swear to myself tat i will change..

i will life without any close frewns n i will remember is pain juz to remind myself tat they exist if i have to..nobody except god know how im feeling rite now..

i treasure all of my frewnship n that's y i cant leave like tat.. everywhere i go..there will b memories of them.. if only they knew how i feel..ah...

come on done be drama queen...hahah.. nothing will change if they knew.as if they care..im nothing sia to them..hopefully my dadd bizz of making a kendarat will work.. tat all for now.

the pain still remain.

another boring dae..today i try to 4get them by going out wif my frewn,syafiqah..

we juz hang out at fushan while i smoke bcoz im stress out wif them n tmrrw..

my dadd want to open a business which name is kendarat..ppl married,we serve them bt no enought people! im freak out until i smoke 5 stick.ops,a lot sia..i shud only take 2..ah..

go to hell!

btw,when i hang out wif syaf,my old frewn come down..omg!

he pierce his ears..!

i cant believe he did tat.he was a gd boy. i also find out tat he drink.. wat the hell wrong wif hym?! i juz dont get most of my frewns! as for me,i cant stop thinking abt them..

wherever i go,i will kept think abt them until i was almost hit by a car.thank god im still alive.. btw,when i want to go home,i need to pass by one of the block tat we like to hang out..

the memories cam back to me.. tis is PATHETIC!

i wish i could juz continue my life juz like tat bt i cant..they mean a lot to me coz i dont have anything in my life bt yet ppl hate me..LIKE HELL SIA!

how the hell they can went out from mylife like tat?! they make it so simple juz for that reason.. im i nothing to them or wat? wat did i go wrong?? im juz lost n upset in tis wld even though u see me happy bt deep inside,im in pain. i juz dont know wat to do.nobody can help me. they always help me when i need someone..pls tell me tis is juz a dream.. god pls help me. if only i can change the future,i will change everthing..but too bad i cant..

today,19 december

hey is me again..is 5.29 in the morning sia..cant sleep..coz my heart is still hurt after wat happen juz now morning which is yesterdae. my two lovely frewn have when out from my life..the reason that they give me is pathetic..i dont know how they can live me like tis..i wish tis was a dream n both of them does not exist.but i cant..owell,i at least learn something..i learn how to live without any of my best frewn.. hopefully tis pain will recover soon..

o.o

Hye All ~

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; Yanti Smokiieeeee ! :D